Even managing to be on my almost best behavior I gained some holiday weight. 1.5 pounds to be exact and every year it makes me mad. It is much harder to crave kale and white bean soup than say cheesecake cake with blueberries, especially when I bought a huge Cheesecake Factory cheesecake for my holiday guests. I woke up today hoping my husband had eaten the last of the great sour cream cinnamon breakfast cake that is given to us every year by a neighbor. Bless him, he did. I woke with the idea of steel cut flax oatmeal on the brain and that is what I had, but I am still wanting to eat all the glorious bad carbs that get in my path. I mean the bad carbs, white sugar, all the cookies and candies that were given to us, you name it. Every Monday I have brown rice cucumber rolls with extra ginger no wasabi. I think the girl at Whole Foods can set her watch to me walking in. Today I skipped it and am trying really had to reevaluate why I am still going in the same circle with no way out, buying semi healthy foods that make me crave more foods like it is one problem. I can't live like this forever, I can't continue to feel this way forever and I can't keep mentally beating myself up. I am a goal seeker, a person who likes to be challenged, competitive, but I keep failing at the same thing. What gives? I know it is me and no one else, it is not a medical condition, not pure laziness as I exercise daily, it's something I just don't know what. I know I refuse to enter my next birthday with the same set of issues. I need a competative work out buddy maybe that will help. I miss feeling comfortable in my own skin, I am not grossly overweight, but am just not comfortable with where or who I am with this extra baggage.
I am going to try and restore food balance to my fridge and body. Start taking my supplents again, the protien powder, no seconds until thirty minutes after my last bite, and come 2010, I am back off the beef.
Next year I will have a better attitude, I just know it. 2009 has not been a great year, but I don't think 2010 will be a great.
1 comment:
This is such an honest, informative blog about the struggles of eating right, and eating healthy. I added a Weight Loss/Body Image community on my website, www.shareWIK.com (share What I Know) and would love your input! ShareWIK is an online community bringing together people of all areas of expertise so that they can share what they know. Keep up the great work, and we would love to hear from you!
Post a Comment